Monday, September 6, 2010

Yes. No. Maybe.

Does this blog make me look fat?

Yes.

It points out my terrible LACK of Weight LOSS. It highlights my failures / my detours / my lack of focus. I'm afraid that instead of a site for motivation - my posts may soon be used as "what not to do" or perhaps more likely "how to not do much about it at all."


Does this blog make me look fat?

No.

If "think thin" (or thin-er) power can be harnessed to prevent us from further backsliding on our weight goals - I think I've tapped that energy! Even though I may NOT be making much movement in the forward direction - at least I have managed to not go above my "start weight" during this project. I have thought of you all when I considered making bad choices. I have also thought of you when I made better choices. And while I'm sorry that this hasn't been a journal of overwhelming success - it has been a picture of reality.

Does this blog make me look fat?

Maybe.

Back to that picture of reality - the truth is that I need to lose weight - so maybe I do look a bit fat. It never fails to amaze me that "fat" and "thin" is so based on a comparison to who you are with. At one of my job sites -I was referred to this week as "skinny girl". It took me a few moments to realize they were talking about ME. And I wasn't at all deluded into thinking it was the truth - just that I had maintained something "closer to thin" than these ladies. Which also is a reminder that it's funny how our eyes round up when we are judging ourselves and how often we are willing to "round down" when we are judging others. So maybe you'll catch me on a fat day, maybe on a looking okay day - either way, the scale continues to be my forever frenemy!

1 comment:

Janet said...

I can totally relate to the "who you're with" model of thin vs. fat. At my previous workplace, I was thinner than almost everyone else there. It was easy to think I was "the skinny girl."

I guess now all I'm comparing myself to is my dogs. lol

I have also found that wearing "comfortable" clothes every day for weeks on end is not a good way to judge one's gains or losses.