It's On My List

Dear Readers,

I have been away for a long time. You were on my mind more than I can begin to express. You should know that the guilt of my silence has weighed heavy on my scale- and my mind.

I wish I could tell you that I was off solving the worlds problems. Or was so busy shedding pounds that I couldn't sit long enough to type. Or that I found a way to sleep the pounds away. Or that I discovered a way to make TV viewing a cardio event..... Alas, I did not. I was not.

I stepped on the scale this morning for the first time in a long time. And I quickly remembered why I have a love / hate relationship with the scale. He says ugly things...and that is no way to start the day.

But if you are still out there. And you are still on this journey, I wanted you to know that I am too. So with this message - I can cross this (Must Let Bloggers Know I Have Not Yet Become A Super Model Skinny Bitch) off my list. Let's get back to business, mmm'k?

Not -So Steller Start

In keeping with our system to end author confusion - the star girl will always be me, Regina.

This week I was successful 6 days in wearing my pedometer. And as I would have suspected, my steps per day are way too low.

I was completely NOT successful at dragging myself away from my desk and into the fitness center - which, to review...is right across the hallway. Boo, hiss - bad girl. I know. There are some free Zumba classes going on this month. And as additional motivation -several of my new co-workers are involved in fitness challenges OR are looking for a buddy to attend aqua aerobics or other classes with them....so it seems that I should have plenty of excuses to get with it.

I also did not transport my workout bag with me. Nor did I designate the play-list that will make me shake my groove thing while I am on the treadmill --or maybe that music will just help to distract me.

I've had a lingering headache with some random waves of nausea this week. Generally these feelings don't motivate me to get up and move about a bunch. But I'm sure this will pass and then I'll have to get serious.

On a good note. I had not weighed in for a long, long time. Regardless of feeling like I had overindulged during the holidays - I found that my weight was surprisingly very close to the same place I last found it--I think this is confirmation that if I continue what I am currently doing - I will not see a decrease in my weight. (duh, I know) But also that I seem to be at a natural plateau.

And while I would LOVE to see a smaller number on the scale (or on my jean size) - I am also satisfied with an absolute limit that I will not exceed.

I will enter my pedometer numbers in some kind of chart form at the end of the week so I can track that progress. Also, I was not so good at the food journal - though I find the threat of recording everything helps me to think twice before devouring a treat. For Android users - I did find FatSecret Calorie Counter - it offers a barcode program where you can use your camera to read the nutritional info on things you eat. The first disadvantaged I noticed is that it is really hard to enter homemade food - which I'd rather eat than pre-packaged food, so I'm still searching for my perfect fit. I may just be a paper girl and that's okay too.

Hope your week was much more productive than mine...

Yes. No. Maybe.

Does this blog make me look fat?

Yes.

It points out my terrible LACK of Weight LOSS. It highlights my failures / my detours / my lack of focus. I'm afraid that instead of a site for motivation - my posts may soon be used as "what not to do" or perhaps more likely "how to not do much about it at all."


Does this blog make me look fat?

No.

If "think thin" (or thin-er) power can be harnessed to prevent us from further backsliding on our weight goals - I think I've tapped that energy! Even though I may NOT be making much movement in the forward direction - at least I have managed to not go above my "start weight" during this project. I have thought of you all when I considered making bad choices. I have also thought of you when I made better choices. And while I'm sorry that this hasn't been a journal of overwhelming success - it has been a picture of reality.

Does this blog make me look fat?

Maybe.

Back to that picture of reality - the truth is that I need to lose weight - so maybe I do look a bit fat. It never fails to amaze me that "fat" and "thin" is so based on a comparison to who you are with. At one of my job sites -I was referred to this week as "skinny girl". It took me a few moments to realize they were talking about ME. And I wasn't at all deluded into thinking it was the truth - just that I had maintained something "closer to thin" than these ladies. Which also is a reminder that it's funny how our eyes round up when we are judging ourselves and how often we are willing to "round down" when we are judging others. So maybe you'll catch me on a fat day, maybe on a looking okay day - either way, the scale continues to be my forever frenemy!

Silent, Steady, and Still Here

I haven't posted for a while...

it's not because I've been away on any great adventures...(unless you consider the chaos of job loss / scramble for new life-plan to be a great adventure)

And for those that are confused - yes, both Janet and I are going through the same thing with our loss of employment with little warning.

So most of what she has said, has felt like it was also "from me".

Exercise isn't a priority (though I have been filling in as a substitute cook - and I must say, the pedometer likes this job MUCH more than my desk job).

Eating hasn't been perfect but also hasn't been out of control (stress makes me eat less).

Weight is holding steady.

Perhaps I should re-think the claim that I am good at multi-tasking...because when it comes to my life - I'm not so good. I can focus on organizing. OR I can focus on exercise. OR I can focus on being a health nut. But I'm not so good at focusing on all of the above.

And right now - I'm forced to figure out my life / income plan...in the meantime, I hope that I can hold stead on the weight front.

But I'm still here...