Chick-fil-A is Not a Yoga Pose

Yesterday was once again Yoga Day, which is somehow becoming my favorite time of the week.  Unfortunately, I've been feeling a bit sick to my stomach, so I debated whether to even go.  I did go, but I took it pretty easy.  Even so, I found a couple times that certain poses were easier for me than they had been in the past.  I also found the room to be FREEZING for some reason.  Forget hot yoga, my community center seems to have embraced cold yoga.  I'm not sure I'm seeing the benefits.  I may start bringing a blanket for final relaxation.

Anyway, I noticed one thing as I was doing my pre-yoga walk around the track.  You know how I posted the other day about how uncomfortable I feel walking at the track on campus?  Well, I truly feel NONE of that when working out at the community center.  I even ran a little bit last week (with very little worries about the boobs attracting too much attention).

I think the reason is that there are truly all shapes and sizes at the community center.  And everyone is there for the same reason: to improve their health and fitness.  Somehow on campus I feel like it's all athletes who are looking at me like they're certain I've stumbled in accidentally, when I truly intended to camp out at Chick-fil-A stuffing myself with waffle fries dipped in an obscene number of condiments.

I've finally updated my ticker again, which shows not quite another pound lost. I've decided to only officially weigh in and update once a month. Mainly because I've found that for me, it's nothing to gain/lose the same five pounds over the course of a month. I'm always going to show a gain before my period, then I'll always miraculously go back down after. It's just not a "real" picture of my true success (or lack thereof) to weigh in weekly.

Oh, also, in my quest to improve my sleep, I've been trying Breathe Right strips, which was EG's suggestion.  I do truly think I'm sleeping better.  It might just be because I'm currently enjoying a hard earned four-day weekend (joys of comp time!) and I always sleep better if I know I don't have to be up early.  But I haven't snored myself awake since I started using them.

(Photo borrowed from weheartit.com)

Ask and You Shall Receive...Update

Well last week I was in distress because my favorite flavor of water packet is being removed from the shelves of all of my local shopperies. Shortly after that - I was working late and happened to be drinking my energy mix to avoid the temptation of soda-land. As my night was coming to a close, I developed a horrible migraine - which left me feeling nauseous / fuzzy eyed for my entire hour plus long drive home - in a thick fog. By the time I got home I was in tears and contemplating self-brain removal to end the pain. I woke the next morning with the migraine still raging in my head - not enough to make me fully nauseous - just enough to make me remember it could crush me at any moment.

The fortunate side-effect of this (see how I'm looking for the positive? Brownie point anyone?) is that I completely have one of those food / illness associations and I've gone most of the week without my drinking any at all. Which is quite amazing - b/c it has really become a daily requirement (at least on work days) So - I guess the moral is be careful what you wish for.
On with the rest of the report:

• Consume a limit of 1 soda per week. I had hopes of going a full month without a soda - however, a visit to a house that could only be described as my allergies-worst-nightmares led to symptoms including difficulty breathing, my throat threatening to swell shut, and in general feeling like I'd been poisoned (after not ever getting back to normal from previously mentioned migraine and also this treatment!) In my compromised state - I consumed 1 soda (on a Sunday no less). It wasn't even gone before the regret set in, but if 1 a month is going to be my new average - that's not bad at all.
  
• Do Push-Up's 3xs a week. Done. I have been increasing the length of the sets to build some more endurance. And to meet my "able to do 50 push ups" goal.
  
• Walk 2xs a week. Done- we've decided this is what the mall is for.
  
• Reduce calories and keep food journal. No. It didn't happen in any sort of formal manner. I knew when I needed to stop - I just didn't always listen. I appreciate all the suggestions for online food trackers - it's just not my thing and I still don't like them - but I'm glad that they seem to work for so many of you. I will officially do better next week in this area.
  
• Purchase no more than 5 boxes per week. Apparently this was my "epic fail" week! LOL I did surpass my box quota - twice. I had not had a real "stock up" shopping trip and some prices were just too good to pass up. However, the vast majority of boxes that I did buy were NOT junk food - so I think that counts for something.
  

Little thing about me: I have a sweet tooth. This week I've fallen off the wagon due to butterscotch blondies and dark chocolate that I've been dipping in white chocolate peanut butter (no trans fats and no high fructose). Regardless of my sugar addiction - I have managed to keep the scale in the same place. I would ask for help avoiding my sugar craving ways- but I'm afraid of how the Universe might deliver that "gift".

24 Hour Fitness Update

So far, so good. Went both Monday and Tuesday nights! Monday was my first time there. My husband had went on Sunday morning so he knew a little more of what to expect. We took our son with us so he could experience Kid's Club. It was very crowded but I kinda expected that for 6:30 on a Monday night. So the first thing we do is take our son to Kid's Club. There is a line of people waiting to go in and I'm like what is up with this? Then I notice a sign on the door saying "One Family at a time allowed in Kid's Club". Okay I'll wait. I swear the family in there took at least 2 minutes while we were waiting and more people began waiting behind us. Finally they come out and the next "family" goes in. Takes another minute or two. Finally we go in and I sign the paper for our son to play. I tell them it's our first time there and they say you'll need to fill out this paper work. So I start to fill it out and this lady shoo's me out of the room and says you need to fill it out outside. So okay this is fine but it will take me a minute to fill it out and you've already made me wait five minutes. But whatever there IS a line. So I fill out the paper work (which pretty much absolves them of any kind of responsibility) I think I will feel safer with my 11 year old neighbor watching him. Anyway, I have to get back in line to take the paper work back in. Go back in drop it off, walk out and the
lady who looked like a supervisor walks past and says "will he have any grandparents dropping him off sometime?" I'm thinking grandparents??? What do people us this as a babysitting service. I tell her no. Then she says, "is your husbands name on the paperwork"? Umm... no you didn't tell us both parents should fill it out. So back in line we go to have my husband put his name on the paperwork. I'm thinking, see lady if you would have let us fill it out in front of someone they could have told us all of this instead of standing in line and going back and forth for 10 minutes. So finally we get that all settled. Our son looks like he's having a good time playing video games. We finally walk upstairs to work out. Every elliptical machine on the front row is taken (there must be at least 20 or 30). Second row we find two that are together and start working out. They have like 8 TV's set to different channels. Half of which are sports, then a few on different networks. One of which is FOX NEWS. Now I'm a Democrat and kinda liberal so it always pisses me off when I go to a place of business and FOX News is on the tv. I mean come on people, I can understand having news on but at least choose CNN where it's middle of the road. I can understand not having MSNBC because they are more liberal but FOX! Really!? Bill O'Reilly's face is not something I want to see while working out. So anyway, I end up "watching" The Bachelor. A show that Janet watches regularly and I have never watched and never planned to but I thought at least I can talk to Janet about it tomorrow. After about 2 minutes I understood why I've never watched the show. But almost anything was better than Bill O'Reilly. So we do the elliptical for 35 minutes. I did 2.5 miles! Went downstairs to workout on some weight machines. They have a great idea with about 6 rows of weight machines all identical so you can start at one machine and work your way down the row working out the different parts of your body. If the next machine is taken in your row just skip to the next row and use that machine because it's identical to the one in the row you are on. So we had a really great workout. Then back to Kid's Club to pick up our son. Only one person in line this time and they were farely quick. Go in and our son seems to be having a great time. The girl says ummm "him and another boy bumped into each other and his mouth started bleeding. GRRREAAT... I said well it's probably his loose tooth. She said it just happened that's why we didn't call you. (No one looked real concerned anyway) They were both more busy cleaning up so they could leave in 10 minutes. So we gather up our kid and we ask him how he liked it and he said, "I don't want to go back". "Why?" "The boy didn't apologize for hitting me and I want to workout with you". I explain that he has to be older to do that. Not a happy camper at this answer. So, we'll see if we use the Kid's Club again. I wasn't impressed in the least with the place and I'm not sure how safe my child is in the place. However, last night went much better. I went by myself and got there about 9pm after I got my son to bed.(hubby stayed home) A lot less crowded,I found an elliptical right in front of the television that had Lost on and did about 2.7 miles and actually felt pretty good when I left. I'm planning on going back tonight.

I Know What to Do

I woke up this morning (okay, let's be real. I woke up 17 times last night...) and had the distinct feeling that I just can't take it anymore.

I have a terrible time sleeping at night. This isn't new. It kind of all started about four or five years ago. But it's ridiculous now. See, among my many ailments, I have mild carpal tunnel syndrome. So, sleeping in any position besides flat on my back with my arms at my sides makes my hands fall asleep. Not like typical "oh dude, my hand's asleep," but rather like, "OH MY GOD I CAN'T FEEL MY ENTIRE ARM!! MAYBE I NEED TO GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM?!?!"

It sucks, but whatever, I've lived with that particular challenge for a few years. The thing is, now I've started snoring if I sleep on my back. And I wake myself up. So, basically I'm screwed. If I sleep on my back, I wake myself up snoring. If I sleep in any other position, I wake up because my entire arm is numb. And I suspect that I'm snoring because of my weight. Because I've never snored before.

So, when EG invited me to lunch today, I said, "No thank you. I must walk today." And she ended up eating lunch and then walking with me. I was asking her about 24 Hour Fitness, and I wondered if they made you see a trainer or something to get started.

She said, "No. I don't need someone to show me what to do. I know what to do. It's just a matter of doing it."

I read somewhere that health and fitness is the one area where people's knowledge is the most at odds with what people actually do. I know in my own case, it's definitely true.

I know what to eat and drink to be healthy. And I'm sitting here eating Cheez-its (reduced fat though) and drinking Diet Pepsi.

I know building muscle is a great way to increase metabolism. I haven't lifted weights in months. I could even tell you three or four awesome exercises to do to work any muscle in your body. Do I DO them? No.

I know I should walk 60 min. per day. I do 30 or so about 3 days a week.

I know fat, cholesterol, sugar, hydrogenated oils, artificial stuff, etc... is bad for me. I KNOW THIS. And I eat it anyway.

On the other hand...

I know that I should wear my seat belt in a car. And I do it. Every time.

I know the major principles behind effective adult education. And I use them in my work, every chance I get.

I know the rules of proper grammar and punctuation. And I use them.

I know how feng shui works. And I work very hard to keep the chi flowing properly in home and work environments.

I know that Stacy and Clinton forbid wearing bleached or whiskered jeans, and I don't wear them. I know that a woman with a chest like mine should wear V necks to minimize the chest. I have a closet full of V necks.

I know how to properly care for my skin and hair, and I do it.

I know how to apply makeup to maximize my good features and minimize the negatives. And I do that. Most days.

I know how to manage my finances properly. And I do it. Okay, well, mostly.

So WHY do I not put my extensive knowledge of health, fitness, and weight loss into practice???

24 Hour Fitness

Well, folks I've done it. Something I swore I would never do. Join another health club. Last time I joined a health club I spent over $300 and went one time. This had to be over 20 years ago because it was before I was married. (I'll be married 20 years this June.) $300 bucks was a lot of money for me at the time because I was working my first real job in television and actually able to pay my bills without my parents help for the first time. So, I ended up flushing $300 bucks down the toilet and those of you who are young enough to remember the eighties knows that $300 was a lot of money then. Anyway, I digress. I think the reason I never went is because I felt so embarrassed by working out my fat ass in front of a bunch of strangers. 20 plus years later I have no fear or little of embarrassment. Performing in public will do that for you as well as having a very vocal child. So, I think I can actually do this, this time. Plus, my husband joined with me and they have a Kid's Club that my son can go to as well. The best part is the cost. Slightly over $50 a month for the two of us! Plus you can quit anytime you want. It's just a month to month basis. My husband has already went once and I plan on going tonight for the first time. I'll let you know what I think of it once I get started. Wish me luck!

Choose A Size Already

(also known as the post called “My Boobs Are Out of Control”)

Okay, so let's talk. Boobs are kind of a pain. Let's just take your normal average boobs. They can be so sore that you want to punch someone for just looking too close. They can alert others to your personal interpretation of the weather and they always seem to do this at the most inconvenient times. (As an aside, this action burns 3 calories, so it always makes me smile.) They get in the way – stomach sleeping has never been the same since they appeared. And they don't move in graceful manners or even in the same direction as the rest of your body when in motion.

As if this was not enough – they won't commit to a size. They are not thoughtful- like your feet, for example. Until I had a child, I had the same shoe size since 4^th grade. Feet are nice like that. Boobs – they can grow in number, grow in cup size, or grow in fruit proportions (grapes to grapefruit). During my yo-yo weight days, I have gone from a C to an A to DD.

I am sorry to say, that I've kind of given up. I plan to lose weight. I want to lose weight. I know, from history, that WHEN this happens I will go down to a lower size. So why would I want to spend the time, energy, and money on a size that I'm not planning to stay at very long? So, because of this – I've been living in a sports bra for way longer than any non-athletic lady should. It's embarrassing to do the math, and I honestly can't say how long it's been going on.

A few months ago, I did break down and buy some “real” bras. I just hadn't been comfortable in the size C's – and that was when I discovered that I'd graduated to a size DD. Ick. I miss the A's. And if it's not bad enough to be a DD - I'm one of those odd ducks that has a smaller number than most stores carry in the DD series.

And you can argue, but I think that A's and B's are perfect. I refer to them as the “why bother” sizes. You can totally skip the bra all together. The boobs stay in place. They do not seem to be having a battle with gravity. They are pretty easy to manage. And yet there is enough to offer physical proof that you are of the female variety.

I could open a Victoria Secret bra shop out of my dresser – and there would be a little something for everyone. And bra's are not really something that you want to shop for at a thrift store / goodwill – which is sometimes a strategy when you are on your way down in sizes. It just makes me nutty. It's exciting to get to buy a new pair of jeans in a smaller size – but a bra? I have not yet met the bra that makes me smile. And let's just talk about the whole bra shopping / fitting process – another source this is the antithesis of joy.

So there it is, my secret bra aggravations – maybe someday they will make a weight loss bra – one that decreases ever so slightly in size with you? Or maybe I should go on record as saying that is officially my idea. Or maybe someone will develop a bra swap – where you can get rid of the wrong sizes in exchange for the new sizes? You know – that whole geisha bonding thing isn't sounding half bad – and I think that Ace bandages come in sizes – but not in CUP sizes. Could that be the sound of progress? Feel free to share your own boob frustrations / tips / discipline techniques – together we can tame the wild beasts.

Food Pyramid and Other Impossilbe Mountains

Do you remember the food pyramid as a child? It involved eat this many servings of each food group. It made SENSE. Okay, so it was kind of tricky - is a serving of meat a half a cow? A slab of fish? A multitude of chicken body parts?

And then some genius came up with the "same size as" theory. You know, a serving of meat is about the size of a deck of cards. I think a serving of veggies or fruit was about the size of your fist. Bread servings were about the size of a CD - but there was some rule about thickness that always got lost in my mind. But it was a guideline that I could visualize.

Flash forward to this week - I've openly admitted that food journals stink! (A. They are a pain in the butt. B. Calorie counts are always a guestimation. C. I find that food journals ENCOURAGE me to eat purchased / boxed foods - b/c they come with a label, unlike my homemade meals.) I'm not a total quitter so I'm trying to adapt the food tracking to some kind of system that doesn't make me crazy - so I thought of the food pyramid. Isn't that the idea? If you eat from those guidelines you would be eating a healthy and well rounded diet?

So I began my visit to my pyramid. Now, I have not been living in a cave. I am aware that they revised the pyramid. What I had not noticed so much was how completly UNuseful it had become. Now, before the mypyramid folks go crazy with hate mail - there are some wonderful tools on the site that help to guide you in the right direction of number of servings you need based on age and weight. There is a lot of good information about food groups, variety, and healthy guidelines.

The problem lies here - after my visit to the pyramid of nutrition - I feel like I know LESS than I did before I went there. I was under the impression that you need 5+ servings of fruit / veggies per day. Nope. Apparently not. Mine suggested 2.5 CUPS of veggies and 1.5 CUPS of fruit. Now, I ask you - how many cups is a banana? What is the size comparison to 2 cups of lettuce? And not all produce is measured equally. Dried fruit 1/2 cup = 1 cup - say what? What happened to servings? Where did they go? Is 1 cup 1 serving? (unless you are dried?)

And there were like 5 meat ounces per day. I dare you to find the 5 oz. meat serving on a menu AND by the way - that would be IT for the whole day! What happened to the deck of cards? Are they an ounce? Two ounces? And where do you count wheat germ- is that a grain? And how much is considered an ounce? Because - for the record - if I have to choose between wheat germ in my yogurt or a toasted English muffin - well, let's just say the wheat germ is going to lose.

And, please don't get me started on the veggies. While I need 2.5 cups per day, apparently it takes a statistical genius to make the spreadsheet of how those should be divided - there's a suggested number of servings per week for dark greens, orange, starchy, and then the all mysterious "other". What the hell is an "other" vegetable?

And all of this is without getting into the COMPLEX realities of real life eating. Like corn bread - this recipe has one can corn and one can creamed corn in it. So is that a grain? Is it a veggie? Is it a grain and a veggie? How many ounces is it? How many cups of corn? Let's hope that weight loss is a side effect of insanity - because the doctor ordered a little crazy.

My plan for the next week is to make some kind of modified checklist for daily use where I'll track that I've eaten all of these suggested foods first. I figure that if I cover all my food servings before moving onto the "fun stuff" maybe I'll be too full to over do it. Oh yes, the "fun stuff". That was an eye opening moment. It suggested that I did have some "extra" calories each day - want to know how many? 120(ish)! Suddenly it's clear - that's not even a candy bar. Much less a mini candy bar in the afternoon, some ice cream in the evening, and a little snack while waiting for dinner - clearly I've been doing some creative budgeting with my calorie bank account - or credit card as it may be.

As for the rest of the goals.

• Consume a limit of 1 soda per week. So far, so good - but I just found out that Wal-Mart is going to stop carrying my life-saving flavored water product. Please Mr. Universe, stop dumping on me. Crisis to follow.
  
• Do Push-Up's 3xs a week. Done.
• Walk 2xs a week. Done.
  
• Reduce calories and keep food journal. Adapting to be more use-able, less PITA-ish. (Pain In The Ars)
  
• Purchase no more than 5 boxes per week. I fully plan to, but have not yet broken this rule. I only made a short trip to the store - no boxes involved. But when I find those little tasty water packets - I'm buying the full inventory. No questions asked. I'll repent later.
  

Little thing about me: I am a Prince fan. People that have known me -for years - are seldom aware of my great love for the purple man. But seriously, how many times can Purple Rain, Artist formerly known as..., and Darling Nicky come up in general conversation?