Saturday, January 1, 2011

A Different New Year's Eve

I spent my New Year's Eve differently than I usually do this year.  Partly because I've been sick, so hanging out in public just didn't sound fun at all.  We were home, on our sofa, snuggled with pups, playing Mario Kart and watching movies on Netflix.  It was really kind of awesome.  We toasted the new year and were in bed at like 12:05.

But the biggest difference was in what I ate.  Or didn't eat.  And what I resolved, or didn't resolve.

I cannot remember a New Year's Eve when I wasn't stuffing myself with every forbidden food on the planet, because TOMORROW starts the diet!!!!  Every December 31st in memory, I've had that whole "Last Supper mentality" because I knew, after that date, I couldn't eat THAT food anymore.

I'm not thinking that way lately.  I've been reading Women, Food, and God by Geneen Roth, and I just finished reading Unbearable Lightness by Portia de Rossi.  The messages behind both of these books have really started to sink in with me lately.  There is no food that is forbidden.  And making them forbidden is really the problem.

Geneen Roth says, "Eat what you want when you're hungry and feel what you feel when you're not."  If we're eating food when we aren't physically hungry, we're trying to satisfy some other need.  I do that a lot.  And I haven't completely stopped doing it, but I'm trying to feel my feelings and at least be aware of when I'm trying to use food to make me feel better.

Portia de Rossi started down the path toward anorexia and bulimia because of unrealistic diets forced upon her as a child model.  Once she stopped labeling foods as good or bad, and started giving her body what it really wanted at any given time, she reached a normal, healthy weight, easily.  She even stopped going to the gym and started walking her dogs and riding horses instead.  She made a comment in the book something like, "How often do you see fat people walking dogs?  And how often do you see fat people on treadmills?  Which one seems to be a healthier thing to do?"

I'm far from the end of my journey.  And I haven't updated my ticker in a while, mainly because I know I'm making healthier choices for my body, and I don't want that number on that scale to make me feel good or bad about myself.

But I know this much.  I didn't pig out last night.  And I didn't diet this morning.  And I feel really good about that.

6 comments:

Regina said...

Yeah for non-traditional behaviors!!!

Sushi Girl said...

I love this blog..great idea...I am new to the blogging world:) Thanks for your recent encouragement Regina!

I too am trying to lose weight and have joined weight watchers...here we go!

Wyatt said...

3 cheers for walking the dog!! The best excercise, EVER!!

Wyatt and Stanzie

Caren Gittleman said...

everything you said is soooooo true!

I am right with you!
I joined Weight Watcher's on Oct 2nd and as of yesterday I have lost 22 lbs. For me this also was the first New Year's Eve I didn't gorge myself silly!

I did buy a few bags of chips for my husband and I (2 of those were lentil chips which are supposed to be really good for you)

I had 2 TINY (and I mean TINY! bowls....the bowls were about the size of tiny fruit bowls or jello bowls...super small) and I was BURSTING! In the past I would have eaten a LARGE bag of chips ALONE and anything else I could get my hands on.

When I ate that and was bursting I threw the remaining chips (and there were A LOT LEFT, also a first) into the garbage. Trust me, I didn't gorge but this kind of food now felt alien to me and not nearly desirable as it used to be.

Happy New Year to you!

Karen Peterson said...

She does make a good point about the dog walking.

Too bad I'm not allowed to have a dog.

Hilary said...

Happy new year... I think it is wonderful that you started the day / year feeling good. It doesn't matter what size we are we all struggle with food in some way. When we overcome our issues, and eat healthy, or just feel good about what we eat, it is the start for us finding happiness