More Than You Ever Wanted to Know About Underwear

I have big boobs and I cannot lie...!

Okay, seriously, I'm having issues with my undergarments.  I posted before about how somewhere early into this weight loss journey, I realized all my underwear is too big.  But really, the more serious concern is my bras.

I wear a bra size that is not readily available in stores.  Like I finally went and got fitted at a specialty store an hour and a half away from my house, and ended up paying crazy amounts of money for matronly bras that actually FIT.  And from there, once I knew my actual size, and a few brands that fit me well, I've been able to order more online here and there.

But you know how you always see those cute little bra and panty sets in stores?  Yeah, I can't wear those.  Won't even begin to cover my situation.  And on the very slim chance that a bra I'm buying comes with underwear at all, it's likely huge grandma panties.  Not sexy.  Besides, I'm really short.  So, if I wear like briefs, or even high cut underwear, I've got two inches sticking out the top of my jeans.  Again, not sexy.

So, for the last several years, I've just dealt with ginormous grandma bras and bikini's bought in a six pack at Wal-mart.  (Oh, don't even get me started on the situation with Victoria's Secret changing their cotton underwear after many years of fabulousness.  Someone should be fired.)

Well, the other day, I was browsing ebay, and I found that if one is persistent and sleuthful, one can find bras in my size that are not so matronly, and rarely (but it happens!) one can find panties that match said bras.  !!!!!  So, now I'm on a mission.

I ordered one set so far, and it came yesterday, I think from Sri Lanka, or some equally obscure foreign place.  Not the highest quality, and the bra isn't really supportive enough for every day.  But, they're pretty!  Yay!  I have a few other brands saved in "my ebay" and I'm thinking tax refund means more lacy shiny things will be coming my way.

I deserve pretty underwear.  And I'm pretty sure you do too.

Here We Go Again- 2013 Version

I finished 2012 with only my one trip to McDonalds--and since that was a breakfast visit and did not involve any of my most-loved golden fries - I will mark this in my memory as a success!  

I could reflect on how my weight went up and not down this year, but I did not set any goals to make it go down.  I could point out my lack of exercising - but I didn't have a goal to do any amount of exercising.  So I think it would be pointless.  

For some time (you'd have to dig back years to see the evidence) I was fighting with myself about logging my food.  I have had good results in the past using this technique, but for whatever reason I simply could NOT get myself to do it.  

Well, for unknown reasons, in November I started DOING something.  I know that pre-holiday is not the best time to begin new food habits - but I say go with the inspiration.  I found an app called - MyFitnessPal.  I've tried online food tracking before and I hated it.  So I just wanted to TRY this.  I just wanted to SEE what was happening - in black and white.  

And, I'm loving it.  In the beginning I would log the food and I then could see how this would immediately change my eating habits.  If I knew I only had 360 calories left for dinner, I would be much more mindful of what I chose for snack, how much I put on my plate for dinner, and what I suggested the dinner menu be.  

I have gone over my calorie count SEVERAL days.  It was the holidays.  But I was much more AWARE that a slice of coconut cream pie was the same calories as a healthy meal, so I didn't eat 2 slices in a day.  (Baby steps people.)  

I did lose some weight right away.  I did regain this weight over the holiday.  I only allowed myself to feel bad about this for a micro-second.  If I had not been logging my food, I could have easily come out of the holidays with 5 more pounds of me to love.  And that would have been new levels of BAD.  

So here's why I like MyFitnessPal in a nutshell.  If you are searching for a tool, it might be for you- if not, it was free so no loss!  You can scan barcodes, and it imports all the nutritional info!!!  It is for iphone and ANDROID people - no discrimination.  It is accessible from your phone and your laptop (you could opt to only use the laptop if you don't do the smartphone thing).  You can enter your own RECIPES and it calculates nutrition (so you don't have to feel "left out" if you are eating home cooking).  You can look at your nutrition for the day. (I would have told you that I have a low sugar diet - I would have been WRONG.)   You can track exercise, water, weight, measurements, and notes daily.  You can search from a huge database of foods - home cooked, restaurants, and off the shelf- it keeps your recent choices close- all of this makes entry a breeze.  It is really easy to use and it gives you praise--even when it would be hard to find something nice to say.  (Think:  You logged on 12 days in a row!!!)  You can connect to friends to motivate each other or compete if that is your thing.  

So here are the goals for 2013:

1.  Pull out my pedometer again and try to increase the number.  ( I am kind of lusting for a fitbit one, but until they play nice with DROID - they will not get my money.)

2.  Just say no to the golden arches- zero visits in 2013.  

3.  Log with MyFitnessPal- use info to improve eating choices.

4.  Activity 3 times a week- for 15 minutes.  

Tomorrow Just Like Today

I'm reading a book that I'll soon be reviewing on my other blog, but I had to post an idea from it here.  The book is The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do To Get More of It.  The new year is a good time to be learning about willpower, and I'm actually getting a lot out of the book.  I'm really interested in brain research and the biological and psychological reasons we do what we do.

Anyway, one concept from the book is the idea of "tomorrow just like today."  We tend to think that we'll start the new diet, exercise program, project, whatever tomorrow.  It's easy to talk yourself into not taking the steps today if you convince yourself you'll do it tomorrow.

If you go into it with the idea that tomorrow will be just like today, it seems more important to do the right thing today.  It's easy to say I'll skip my walk today, because I'll take a longer one tomorrow.  But if I have the idea in my head that whatever I do today is exactly what I'll do tomorrow, then it seems more critical to make today the best it can be.

So, even though I'm fighting a little cold (both in my head and outside in the weather), I've made myself take at least a short walk every day this week.  "Tomorrow, just like today."  Better walk today then!

Rude

My step-mother is evil.  I've told you this before.  But she reinforces it every damn time I see her or speak to her.  It happened again the other day.

I had to see my dad and her for Christmas.  Which is a horrible way to look at it.  "Had to."  But it's the truth.  If I could see my dad without her, it might turn into "get to."

Anyway, within about five minutes, she made a comment about how fat I am.  And asked how my diet is going.  I responded, "I am not on a diet.  But I am fine, thanks for asking."

Bitch.

Seriously, I've lost three pants sizes since they saw me last.  Could you maybe give me a compliment on the way I look?   No, she can't.  Kind words are not in her vocabulary.

Not to even get into that I've been through HELL in the last year.  Recovering from a miscarriage,  then struggling with infertility, two grandparents' suicide attempts, one ultimately dying, my fiance leaving me, job uncertainty.  So yeah, thanks for your concern.

And what's worse is, I know I'm doing well.  I know I look good.  I know I'm doing things that are good for me, mentally and physically.

But she makes this comment, and all I want to do is eat.  Well, maybe eat and drink.  But mostly eat.

It doesn't help that I have major PMS right now.  But ever since seeing them, I've been eating worse, and I've had to force myself to do even the smallest amount of exercise.  And it's the holidays.  And maybe I'm just full of excuses.

I swear, I'll feel better soon.  And dammit, I still look good in those skinny jeans.

Skinny Jeans Take Two

So back in October I wrote a post about trying on a pair of skinny jeans.  I had been wearing 16's for a very short time, and these were 14's.  I decided not to buy them, because I reasoned that before I could really wear them, I'd be in an even smaller size.

I bought a pair of skinny jeans this weekend.  In a 10.  TEN.  Granted, they are very stretchy, but still.  I haven't worn anything with a 10 on it in probably 6 years.

I still haven't stepped on a scale yet.  I know I'm doing well.  People are telling me they can see the change.  Friends, complete strangers.  I think my coat is too big.  Anyway, I have this fear of stepping on the scale and not liking the number and going into a complete tailspin.  So, I still haven't done it.

I also haven't actually worn the jeans yet.  But hopefully I will very soon. 

My Year (Almost) Without McDonald's

Well, folks.  It's November.  And I've spent most of the year in hiding- hiding from my scale, hiding under baggy clothes, hiding from you.  And while many people are entering the season of "to hell with my diet, let's enjoy the holidays and hit the healthy train in January".  I find myself finally getting around to being serious about my weight loss. The year continues to find my scale creeping to a point of new horrors - beyond my pregnancy weight.  I've not been super active on any regular basis.  I've not been in overdrive about feeding my face, but I've not been crunching the numbers either.  

Has anything gone right?

Well,  one thing.  Back in January, my husband and I both secretly made a silent resolution to not eat at McDonald's.  One year without the golden arches.  It's not that we LOVE Mickey D's.  It's just that it is our easy - go to - starting to feel sick -and really needs some salty food - meal.  With the intro of their $1 menu - we could feed the family a sackful of poison for a small bill.  

Anyway, we had both been talking about how we eat there too much.  About how the food doesn't live up to our "memory" of how good it USED to taste.  And about how we feel like crap after we eat it.  So we both set up this idea that it was "off limits" for 2012.  In my personal resolution- I built in 2 "cheats".  I figured if I went from eating there a few times a month to two times a year that would be a marked improvement AND if I fell off the wagon - it would not be an instant fail with permission to relapse for the rest of the year.

So as of this date - I am happy to report that we have only eaten there 1 time--and it was breakfast. (And it was horrible enough that we have not even since spoken of doing it again.)  Fry free.  No nuggets.  No McChickens.  And seriously, every time we've had that salty craving - we've been able to satisfy it with a healthier alternative.  (For the record, we've also only had Burger King 1 time this year.)

So while my success list will be short for health goal in 2012.  At least I can put this on in the win column.  

Inappropriate (?) Compliment

I was out for my walk today, and I saw an elderly neighbor toddling out to his mailbox with his cane.  As I approached him, I popped my earbuds out so I could say hello.  Keep in mind, I've never said more than, "Hello," to this man.  In fact, I've probably only waved before.  And he was old.  Like walking with a cane old.

He turned to me after I said, "Hello," and he said, "Say, that walking is helping you!  You're looking gooooooood!"

Ummmm....thanks?

I mean, it was a compliment, I'm sure, but it was inappropriate on so many levels.  Like, I don't know this person at all.  And there's an implied, "You looked like hell before," in comments like this.

Whatever.  Apparently I'm looking goooooood.  Might have to step on the scale soon.