Body Image Wisdom from Glee

I mostly watch Glee because it's hilarious and fun, and I love the music and dance numbers. But this week I found myself getting pretty emotional at some of the situations.

During one scene, Quinn, who is pregnant and was kicked off the cheerleading squad because of it, was talking with Mercedes about being healthy. She made the comment that she didn't know why she was so willing to eat healthy for her baby, but unwilling to do the same thing to take care of herself.

Whoa.

Good thing to consider, huh?

Then later, Mercedes did an awesome rendition of Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful." It won't let me embed it for copyright reasons, but you can see it here. She talked about how often we all feel fat, feel unattractive, feel not good enough, and asked the crowd to join her if they'd ever felt the same.

I know I was singing along. And even R commented that he'd never really listened to the words before, but wow, that was a really good song!

Though, for a more lighthearted moment, I think my very favorite quote from the episode may have been when Brittany said, "I'm pretty sure my cat has been reading my diary."

Pain, Struggles, and Distraction Tactics

First let's talk about the struggles...

I read this week (or sometime in the past month -time just bleeds all together) that you have to cut 3,500 calories to lose 1 pound. 1 pound - people. That's 500 calories a day for 7 days straight that shouldn't be going into my mouth. Now the mystery as to why the numbers aren't plummeting in a down-ward direction is finally clear.

Have you ever fought yourself to go to the gym. Hated every minute of being there and then at the end of a programmed workout - looked down at the screen to see that you just sweat and panted and spent minutes of your life - and burned 97 calories? Maybe it says 130 calories? Is this disappointing to anyone else?

I think this MAY be why (digging into Long Term Memory Now) my review of that Fact or Crap weight loss article was suggesting that exercise simply is not the answer to LOSING weight. Unless you are a serious athlete or a marathon runner (I know there are some of you out there) you simply are NOT going to find success with this method. You HAVE TO CUT CALORIES.

I know that isn't fun. Trust me. But it also isn't fun to imagine the number of minutes I would have to commit to the treadmill in order to burn that 1 pound. I will try to remember this choice (spend my entire evening on the treadmill or don't eat the ice cream) whenever I have the urge to flirt with "unnecessary foods".

Other light bulb moments this week included the fact that 99% of calories in hot dogs are from FAT. About 80% of calories in cream cheese is from fat. I'm usually good at looking at labels - but the fact that these two had escaped my radar for this long is making me question my diligence.

Distraction Tactics

Coke Rewards thinks they will try to derail my 1 time a week soda plan by encouraging me to drink their Diet beverage in mass quantity for extra bonus points. Pure evil.

Dairy Queen is having a blizzard birthday. My son was amazed / horrified to think that I was nearly 10 years old before the idea of putting candy into ice cream was thought of. And for the record - yes, I took part in the .25 cent blizzard promotion. I pray that it is over now so that I can avoid a repeat offense.

And finally - let's talk Pain!

I had my best workout (unintentionally) in a long time. This weekend I spent some time outside planting flowers. The ground was wet, it was cold, and this led to some interesting poses (perhaps I've invented gardening yoga) in order to avoid the mud while squatting to plant flowers. Apparently while bending, reaching, digging, and balancing - I rekindled my relationship with some long-lost inner thigh and glut muscles.

The next morning I had that happy muscle burn. I was very please with myself. I suggested to Janet that this may be my new workout plan.

By afternoon - I was trying to fake a "normal walk" but I think it was more like a light hobble. I'm thinking maybe I over did it.

By evening I was wincing in pain with every step and cursing the builder of our house that thought stairs was a good idea. As I admire my happy flowers - they seem to be taunting me.

Today, I'm considering a plant sale in the driveway. I've had the realization that I have only planted one flower bed (and not even completely) and that I have about 4x more to go. Spring fever causes brain damage and should be a medical condition in the DSM. Why on earth would anyone call gardening FUN?

I'm praying for rain this weekend so that I have a valid excuse to procrastinate at putting the rest of the flowers in the ground. I'm also wondering how many dog treats I would have to offer to get my poochies to dig the rest of the wholes for me.

Baked Oatmeal

I originally got this recipe from $5 Dinners - and I can't thank them enough!

2 eggs
1/2 cup applesauce (I use sugar free)
3/4 cup sugar (IF I use applesauce with sugar - I cut this back to half)
1 cup milk
3 cups of quick cooking oats
1 tsp salt (I have left this out completely or just added one shake)
1 TBS baking powder
1 tsp ground cinnamon
2 TBS brown sugar
1 cup fresh fruit (I have used frozen berries, you may need to add a few minutes to baking time to bake out the extra liquids.)
2 TBS wheat germ (not in the original recipe, but I add it)


Directions
1. In large bowl, whisk eggs, applesauce, sugar, and milk. Once creamy add oats, salt and baking powder (and wheat germ) and mix. Then add 1 cup fruit.

You can use Gluten free oats if this is a concern for your family.

2. Pour batter into greased 9x13 baking dish. (You can cut the recipe in half and bake in 8x8 pan. I prefer to bake the full recipe in a glass dish that is irregularly shaped - I think it's around a 8x10. This makes the oatmeal thicker and the sugar topping has more POW with each bite!)

3. Sprinkle top with brown sugar and cinnamon. Bake at 350 for 30 minutes. Remove from oven and let cool for 5 minutes. Top with either milk or vanilla yogurt. (I vote for yogurt, but the boys prefer it with milk.)

We've tried fresh strawberries (sometimes I use strawberry applesauce in that batch), fresh blueberries, apples, and frozen fruits as well. All have been a winner! We only made the 8x8 batch once...since then we make the full batch and have enjoyed it for a very filling dinner. Then I pray for leftovers so that I can take some to work each day and warm it slightly in the microwave and top with yogurt.

As an additional note, one night when I was clearly brain-dead from my day, I accidentally topped with yogurt without warming it up first. I was pleasantly surprised to see that it was still delicious and I can see this being a summertime favorite as well!

Enjoy -you've got to love a simple, cheap, yummy dish that is healthy and filling- and very close to eating CAKE!

My New Favorite Junk Food

Okay, I know – I haven’t posted for some days/ weeks. I’m not sure what happened; other than I got caught up the whirlwind called life.

And don’t worry – I didn’t fall off the wagon, well not totally.

I did have a short love-affair with the soda. I drank more than I would care to confess. But I’m here to come clean and tell you that I have returned from the “dark side” and have remained on the 1-soda per week program successfully THIS week and plan to keep it up.

But back to my new favorite junk food…

I HAVE to call it junk food. Because for as long as I’ve lived if I’ve gotten “stuck” on a food--you could pretty much bet it was a junk food. Bread sticks, pizza, milkshakes with cookie dough – you know the stuff… high calorie, not good for you, and certainly not a food that you want to eat OVER and OVER and OVER.

Now, I have to say – I have WISHED for years that I LOVED oatmeal. It’s so good for you. It has magic powers against the cholesterol. It’s filled with fiber and keeps you full.

But alas, the texture of oatmeal mostly makes me want to gag and IF I manage to eat it, it’s almost always followed by nausea. I know, it’s weird, but it’s just part of being ME. Who wants to start their day THAT way?


So last year – I fell in love with Oatmeal on the Go bars by Quaker. My only disappointments were that it does involve some High Fructose Corn Syrup, and it does contain “an insignificant amount of trans fats” ….and you know how that grinds my gears. Regardless, I bought the high fiber variety – nuked it and enjoyed a warm, mostly healthy kind of breakfast most of last year at my desk. (And only recently have I found that my usual grocery stop has decided to NOT carry this flavor.) My blood work results at the annual physical did tend to show some improvement with the numbers – and this is the ONLY major change that I identified.

Imagine my joy – when I found an easy to whip up, so delicious I call it junk food, recipe for baked oatmeal. It involves NO fats. It uses fresh fruits. It’s kind of like eating cake. You can make it in a wide variety of flavors (we’ve tried apple, blueberry, strawberry). And while I haven’t done the calorie count – at a glance it’s got to be a winner.

Since we’ve discovered this recipe I swear we have gone through one HUGE tub of oatmeal each month, if not more. We have enjoyed it for dinner and I am now in the habit of making sure there is enough in the fridge to get me through the week.

Even with all that – I swear, I find myself wanting it for dinner ….. or snack….. or dessert….

Now that is a junk food winner! Do you have any super –healthy foods that you’ve not been able to eat enough of?

I’ll post the recipe next Tuesday.

Janet's Rules for Healthy Living

1. Chocolate chips are a perfectly acceptable breakfast food when mixed with almonds and a high fiber cereal.

2. A Quarter Pounder with Cheese is a perfectly acceptable lunch if you leave two bites uneaten.

3. Chocolate in general only has half the calories if you eat it as a reaction to a co-worker behaving insanely.

4. If you go to yoga, and the instructor doesn't show up, you still reap all the benefits of doing yoga.

5. Any exercise done while it's pouring rain outside burns double the calories.

6. Doing yoga two days in a row is a really good idea. I think. I'll let you know for sure tomorrow. If I can move.

Yoga Voices in My Head

I had to go to a luncheon for work yesterday, and there was a motivational speaker. Yeah, I know, it was thrilling, beyond belief. And yes, it was the typical, "You can do it!" and "Just change your attitude!" stuff you always hear from motivational speakers.

She was perky and tiny, and I wanted to wring her size two little neck most of the time. I'd be motivated too. If I could button my pants.

One thing she said was that for every negative thing she hears her little inner voice say about herself, she makes herself think of two positive things. Which might be kind of corny, but I do say a lot of bad stuff to myself lately. So, it kind of stuck with me.

I went to yoga last night for the first time in six weeks. Okay, it's not the first time I went to yoga in six weeks, but it's the first time I got to do yoga in six weeks.

And it was rough. I'm tellin' ya. Six weeks worth of not doing yoga (or much of anything for that matter) isn't pretty for this chick.

You want to know how many times during a one hour yoga class I said something negative to myself? I lost count after 47. And half the time, I'd be trying to think of the two positives, "My calves are really strong!" and the negative would pop in and says, "But not as strong as they used to be!" before I got the second positive out. Which meant I had to think of three positives then.

I think.

I kind of kept losing track.

Anyway, the biggest positive I kept telling myself, is, "Hey! You're here. You haven't been in a long time, and it would have been easier to stay home. But you're here."

And I know it will get easier next week.

The Post About Bloating and My Boobs

I feel like crap.

Like fat, bloated, PMSy crap.

Sorry, not the positive, uplifting post you were expecting?

I've written before about how I have PMS from hell. Like to the point that I was on antidepressants and stuff for a while, even though I truly only felt like I needed them two weeks out of the month.

Yes, I said two weeks. PMS runs two weeks in our household. Welcome to our world.

R loves it.

Not.

Anyway, I was on the road for work three days last week, then worked Saturday. So, that means I ate out....9 of my last 12 meals? The PMS had started before I left, but I'm thinking so much soda, fried food, and salt, has really taken its toll.

I was getting dressed Thursday morning, and I put my rings on, only to realize 5 minutes later that my fingers were turning purple. And then I couldn't get the rings OFF. And once I soaped my hands and got them off, I had the ring imprints on my fingers for two hours.

Got to be the bloating. I mean, did I seriously gain that much weight in a day?!

And my boobs are killing me. I mean, I'm in boob pain sitting here typing. I take my bra off at night, and I can hear them go "WHUMP" and then I yell from the pain.

And my neck and shoulders are a wreck. Which might be stress, and might be the 45 pounds of boobs they try to hold up every day of my life.

Saturday my co-worker (who admittedly, is never a ray of sunshine) informed me that she hates me because I have such big boobs. I told her she can have them. I don't want them.

I was serious.

I still am.

Any takers?