Inappropriate (?) Compliment

I was out for my walk today, and I saw an elderly neighbor toddling out to his mailbox with his cane.  As I approached him, I popped my earbuds out so I could say hello.  Keep in mind, I've never said more than, "Hello," to this man.  In fact, I've probably only waved before.  And he was old.  Like walking with a cane old.

He turned to me after I said, "Hello," and he said, "Say, that walking is helping you!  You're looking gooooooood!"

Ummmm....thanks?

I mean, it was a compliment, I'm sure, but it was inappropriate on so many levels.  Like, I don't know this person at all.  And there's an implied, "You looked like hell before," in comments like this.

Whatever.  Apparently I'm looking goooooood.  Might have to step on the scale soon.

Huevos Rancheros Spaghetti

I haven't posted a recipe in a long time, but I tried this one last week and loved it.  Now that I'm living alone, I'm focusing more on what I really want to eat.  I'm finding that it doesn't involve much meat, and I actually feel a lot better when I don't eat meat.  So, here's a yummy vegetarian recipe I adapted a little from O Magazine.

10 ounces spaghetti (I used Barilla Thin Spaghetti, and I recommend a "healthier" pasta option, whether whole grain, or whatever.  Also, this is a bit less pasta than the original recipe called for.  I thought it was way too much pasta and not enough other stuff when I made it the first time.)
1 1/2 cups frozen corn
1 1/2 cups canned black beans, rinsed and drained
1/2 cup chopped green onions
3 eggs (original recipe called for 4)
salt and pepper to taste
1 1/2 cups salsa, plus more for garnish
3/4 cup shredded cheddar cheese, plus more for garnish

In a large pot, cook pasta according to package directions.  In the last three minutes of cooking, add corn, black beans, and green onion.

In a separate skillet, scramble eggs with some salt and pepper.  I used cooking spray instead of oil.  (The original recipe says to fry the eggs and put them on top of the pasta, but I prefer them scrambled and mixed in with the pasta mixture.)

When pasta is finished, drain, reserving about 3/4 cup of pasta water.  Return to big pan.  Add pasta water, egg, salsa, and cheese.  Add extra salsa and cheese to top of each serving.  (Makes 4 servings)

Skinny Jeans

I was at a work function this week and found myself wearing pants that were ginormously too big for me.  Which is kind of a cool thing, except that I was traveling, so I didn't have any other pants, or a belt, or anything.  And at one point I decided to look and see what size the pants were, thinking that they must be a 14, and isn't this awesome that they're so big on me?!

Well, they were a 16.  Which made me think, wtf, when did I ever buy a 16 to begin with?!  And darn tooting they're too big, they'd BETTER be!

But whatever, the point is, they used to fit me.  And now they're huge.

So, I ended up at JC Penney looking for some new clothes, and I decided to try on a pair of "skinny jeans."  I have shunned this particular fashion trend, thinking I was too short and/or fat to look good in them.

I was wrong.  Or at least I am now.  Because they actually looked pretty good.  And I tried them on with a silky, off the shoulder top that I would never have even picked up, except it was on clearance. 

I stood there in the dressing room looking at my new hot self and debated whether to buy the outfit.  Ultimately, I decided that my current life offers very little opportunity to wear skinny jeans and a slinky top.  Because I can't wear denim for work, and well... the rest of the time I'm in sweats.

For now.

That was a decidedly third date outfit.  And ultimately, I realized that by the time I'm going on a third date, I will probably be an even smaller size.  And this would have been an entirely wasted purchase.

But it wasn't a waste of time.  Because, I'm telling you, I looked hot in that outfit.  And I needed to see that right now.

This is New

My underwear is too big.

I haven't weighed since I've been on this new health kick, because I know that derails me.  I can be on a super path, doing all the right things, and then I'll step on the scale, get discouraged, and stop.

So I purposely haven't done it.  The doctor weighed me back in July, and I was horrified at the number.  Higher than it had ever been in my life.  I adjusted my little ticker accordingly the other day, but I haven't stepped on a scale since.

I haven't really noticed a lot of difference in my clothes, but then that could be because I work from home and tend to wear sweats about 95% of the time.  (Herein may lie part of the original problem.)  But I did have to buy a couple new pairs of shorts for a trip this summer, because none of my shorts fit me.  In a bad way.  And as summer drew to a close, those new shorts were getting looser.

But those were, like, fat shorts anyway.  They don't count.  They had damn well better be loose.

Then the other day suddenly I realized my freakin' underwear was too big!  Like to the point that in the middle of the day I took them off, threw them away, and put on a different pair.  I thought it might be a fluke, but it happened again today.

I guess it's a good problem to have.  Maybe one day soon I'll step on the scale and see what's what.  And go shopping for new underwear.

Drastic Changes in Plans

Okay, so I'm playing a whole different ball game now.  If you read my other blog, you've seen that my fiance and I recently split up.  So, while I've been doing more and more to take care of my health over the last couple of months, all the sudden I'm faced with the reality that I might have to be like "out there" again.  Oh Good Lord have mercy.

Here's a story.

When I was still married to my ex-husband I was on a health kick of sorts, and I got down to 132 pounds.  Which, keep in mind, I'm only 5 feet fall, so this is still probably too heavy for my frame.  But it was the thinnest I'd been in a few years.  Well, R and I were friends at the time, and he told me I was getting too skinny and needed to stop.

I told ex-H this, and his response was, "Yeah, but R likes big women."

I'll pause a minute and let all the subtleties of that play out in your head.

My ex-husband was an ass.

But he had one thing right. R really does kind of like "big women."  We've joked about this throughout our entire relationship.  And though I've gained some weight over our years together, he has always still found me attractive, sexy, whatever.  So I didn't much care.

I mean, I did care, because I felt like a slug.  But I had my man, and he was happy, so whatever.

But now?  NOW?!  I've got to feel better about myself if there is any hope of moving on with my life.  I don't want to be a "big woman" anymore.

Look What I Can Do

So, I can stand on my head now.  Against a wall, but still.

Life has been so crazy lately, that I decided to just be crazy and set a goal for myself of being able to stand on my head.

I have a friend who's thiiiiiiiis close to being a certified yoga teacher, so I asked her to show me the proper form and steps to get into a headstand.  Turns out I was doing it wrong.  Or I was going to do it wrong, since I hadn't done it yet.

Anyway, I thought I'd share a website I found that has a really super helpful progression of poses to do leading up to being able to do a real headstand.  It's a series of photos and descriptions I found on a site called Fit Sugar.

I did what they said, and what my friend said, for about a week or so, and then the other day I just kicked my leg from the "head stand prep" stage, and lo and behold, there I was on my head upside down.  I only held it for a minute or so, but I've done it every day since.

There are all kinds of benefits to yoga head stands, but right now I'm just interested in standing on my head because...well...being upright hasn't been going so well for me.  So, we'll see how this goes.

On My Back

A lot of interesting things are happening along my journey these days.  I'm not saying I'm trying to lose weight or on a diet or whatever.  But a few weeks ago I stopped drinking diet soda, or stopped drinking so much of it, and it's created a ripple effect.

I drink a lot more water.  I eat a lot more "whole" foods and less processed crap.  Real food just tastes better to me now.  It's what I crave.

And I'm being more active.  Walking, doing some yoga, swimming (or I was before my pool turned into a giant vat of ice water).  I even started jogging a little along the way this week.

I haven't even weighed, because I know that derails me.  But I can tell clothes are looser, and I feel better about myself.

I've had troubles sleeping for years now.  Various reasons, I'm sure, but one is that I always used to sleep the soundest on my back.  And I got to where I couldn't sleep on my back anymore, because I would snore and wake myself up.  I've wondered whether my extra weight had something to do with this or not.

I'm not entirely sure that's it, but I do know this.  I woke up this morning flat on my back from a sound sleep. And not because I was snoring.  So, I'm calling that progress.